I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
