i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
