sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
