Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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