I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
