There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
