yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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