when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
