Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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