I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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