i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
