Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
