i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
