He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
