After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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