just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Randomize
