Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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