I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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