She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
