I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
