so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
