Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
