Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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