I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Life is so much better after having sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
