WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
