I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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