I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
