Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
