this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
