I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
