he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
