using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
