what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
