The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
