he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
