my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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