The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
