You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
God I need to hump something, right now.
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