You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
