Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
