Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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