youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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