I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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