Need sex. Gaining weight.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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