All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
