Sry I called you an 8
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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