He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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