Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
