I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
