I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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