he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
