So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
